Yesterday!

Ever experienced the way your past sometimes takes form & comes to face you, just when you least expect it to? And to think, all this time God would have been giving you signs.

I faced yesterday once more.

It was like meeting someone I had once known. Someone I had once known intimately. It didn't seem strange, but it did feel a bit awkward. For I had no clue what to make of it, or what to say or feel. All I wanted to know was......

"Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to see how you're doing"

"Why?"

"How are you?"

"I'm alright. Now why are you still here?"

"You seem happy.You look good.Life seems to be going well for you"

I was getting agitated by the minute, I didn't see why I had to talk to this ghost of my past. I turned around to walk away, but there he stood blocking my path.

"You can't run from me gal, I am with you, inside you. I am the moment that died a second ago......"

"Well stop haunting me. I've known you, but now I need to move on, so let me."

"I didn't come here today to hurt you, or to remind you of what happened. You know it too well yourself."

"What, are you trying to make me feel guilty? regretful?"

"No I just came to see the gal who gave me life, who lived that life with me.You moved on when you saw you could do nothing about the way things were.......I waited. And today, I am moving on too."

I stared.....trying to absorb what was just said. The words hung heavy in the following silence. "You're.....moving on........." I asked a bit increduluously.

"Yeah! Can't I?"

"Well yeah......sure.....no wonder you look happy too."

"Yeah, I came to say goodbye before it was too late.I wanted to see you once before I moved into a phase of life where you don't exist."

"Oh!" My mind was running with thoughts - how can I not exist? How can I just be a face in the crowd for my own yesterday?Surely, he is lying. I exist, and will continue to do so. And if I bump into him 10 years down the line, he'd still want to see me, hold me, talk to me.

He somehow read my thoughts, and smiled knowingly. "No babes, I'm closing all doors."

With that, he kissed me on my forehead and walked.......and left me bumbling with questions. I stood for a minute trying to grasp exactly what had transpired. Or had I dreamed it up?

No I hadn't dreamed it up. It was actually yesterday, my own yesterday that had today come to say goodbye to me. To set me free, to liberate me from all that ever bound me. If nothing else, it left me believing in yesterday. That even though it's gone, it really hasn't. It still is there....the moment still lives. I may not remember it, but it lives inside my own yesterday.......And I know I'll bump into him again. Maybe I'll be more prepared next time.

The Beatles put it nicely enough for me - "yesterday.....oh I believe in yesterday....."